We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
