i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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