he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
