Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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