i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize