woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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