is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my being single is dangerous.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Randomize
