Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She said her name was "party"
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Randomize