My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You can't just leave with hair like that
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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