I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
