are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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