The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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