Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
