Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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