The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize