You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
