I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
