I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize