I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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