whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
