It's like God shit irony all over that family
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
