Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Randomize
