So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Bring me that man meat
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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