Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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