Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
