Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
