I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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