also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
