life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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