summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
