Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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