the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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