Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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