I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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