They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
