i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
