I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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