youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
and she was petting her beer can
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
