I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
