Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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