you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
