don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
