All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Do vagina's smell?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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