Do you still have your period?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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