"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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