ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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