he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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