Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
