Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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