I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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