hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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