one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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