My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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