There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize