You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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