i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
