Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
