I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I believe in your delicious
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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