They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
So vagazzling was a success
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
