his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
