Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
