He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I haven't been this sober since birth.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
