We're facebook friends in real life
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
