guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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