Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
