remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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