Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
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